If you are the caregiver in a relationship, it can be hard to prioritize your own needs. Putting pen to paper can help with this. Journaling does not need to be a mammoth undertaking, especially if time is of the essence. While it might sound nice to take an hour each day to write and reflect, this is not always possible with the pressures of modern life.

The following steps can support you in building strong foundations for a healthy habit of checking in with yourself and your feelings.

  • Treat yourself to a lovely new journal, maybe even a pen too. These do not need to be expensive, just pick designs which speak to you. Enjoy that nostalgic ‘back to school’ feeling of new stationery. Having something appealing to write in is an ideal start and a great entry into the world of self-care, particularly if buying a little gift for yourself is unfamiliar territory.
  • Make yourself a coffee, (or any other soothing drink of your choice) and take five minutes to consider your own self-care. What does it look like right now? Are there things that regulate you, like yoga, a long bath, walking the dog, or chatting with a friend? Or possibly things you would like to do more of or try? Make a spider diagram with ‘self-care’ in the middle and note down what works for you when you need it.
  • Practice gratitude. Keep a regular note of what you are grateful for. For example: “I’m grateful for seeing my friend for coffee earlier.” Why not try this right now? Write down what you are grateful for today.
  • Consider your values and what motivates and inspires you. What gives your life meaning? From here specific intentions can be set and brought to life by naming them in your journal, to regularly come back to and check in with, keeping you on target. It is your journal, so it is important that these intentions are true to you and what you want, as opposed to what you ‘should’ do or think.
  • Write freely without editing. Set an alarm for five minutes and write out whatever comes to mind. You might surprise yourself by reading this back and it can be refreshing to get down what has been on your mind.
  • Remember this is your private space, and about you and your needs. Return to it to ground yourself and/or consider doing an activity on your self-care spider diagram.
  • Reflect on any resistance or reluctance which may arise in deciding to prioritize your own feelings or self-care. Caregivers can sometimes be referred to as ‘selfless’, often by well-meaning people who mean this as a compliment. Consider this word and its meaning. An absence of self. Is this really something to aspire to?

Journaling is widely recognized for its numerous psychological benefits, making it a valuable tool for mental health. Here are some of the key advantages:

1. Stress Reduction: Writing about one’s feelings and experiences can help process emotions and reduce stress. It provides an outlet to express what may be hard to say out loud.
2. Enhanced Self-Reflection: Journaling encourages self-reflection, helping individuals understand their emotions, recognize patterns in their thoughts and behaviors, and consider alternative perspectives.
3. Improved Mood: Regularly expressing oneself in a journal can lead to a greater sense of emotional well-being and happiness. It can help people manage anxiety, reduce stress, and cope with depression.
4. Boosted Memory and Comprehension: Writing down thoughts and experiences can enhance the ability to retain and comprehend information. It engages mental processes that help in memory recall.
5. Enhanced Problem-Solving Skills: Journaling can help in solving problems more effectively. It encourages breaking down complex problems into smaller parts and approaching them from different angles.
6. Goal Achievement: Writing about goals helps to clarify them and serves as a motivation to work towards them. Journaling progress and setbacks can track growth and encourage perseverance.
7. Emotional Healing: Writing expressively about traumatic events has been shown to improve mental health and facilitate emotional healing. It helps process trauma in a structured way.

Overall, journaling is a versatile tool that aids in mental health maintenance, emotional expression, and personal growth.